This is a good one!! By Rebecca Sousie :)
Another unnamed piece by Becky Sousie. Do you love it?
The life set before my eyes
I tear down until those upward skies
Are clearly seen and wholly felt
My struggles here I am constantly dealt
Follow and let life lead
Till the legacy I attain
It fills my heart’s need
Searching this as a treasure
Unnamed but someday it will be. Also I didn’t edit it yet. Maybe I never will! I love this one though. Author: Becky Sousie
Please, please usurp the government of my soul
The not-so-golden rules
They tell me to stay within these walls
To not release my soul
I have been a prisoner once before
They told me this inside
I am made prisoner now
Golden rules I myself have set up
By design to set a goal
Prisoner to rules still
Once to the detriment of m y soul
Under the old rule I said
Please usurp the government of my soul
A prisoner to my own not-so-golden rules
They tell me to stay within these walls
I am ashamed of my bashful love of all things creative
I scarce can tell a time when I did not love with fondness
Affections of heart and will and soul
The perplexities of this community are too profound
But oh, my soul, how it basks in the light of art!
I at this moment cannot tell the direction I will take
On one hand I would pursue my love with eagerness untold
And on the other I cannot give any of myself
Because I cannot shake this holier-than-thou
One Hundred Four by Rebecca Sousie
One Hundred Forteen by Becky Sousie
One Hundred Two by Becky Sousie
You’re a lesson for me.
A lesson for free.
I’d write a whole lot more.
But you I’d bore.
I don’t know what
you’re doing but…
I still think this is the way
I learned today.
Eighty Seven by Rebecca Sousie
I think I don’t feel awake.
It is why I question so much.
I’m not alive in my soul.
I am in actuality but maybe
it’s because I am too
wrapped up in other people and
their problems than into
But I thought it’s
not supposed to be about me?
But if others are all consuming to me?
What makes me fell like life is satisfying?
I am on earth.
Do I have residue in my thinking that God will be my life but I don’t want Him?
I know on some level He is the supplier of abundant life, why don’t I live it?
Eight by Rebecca Sousie
There are different compliments to work with now in my soul.
Now that I know you love me.
Now I need to think how you love me.
It is easier now to get along and feel the peace.
The more like me peace.
I feel like I have a season
of gentleness and quietness of spirit I am going through.
That hasn’t happened in a while.
I am so thankful for that; I hope it changes me.
I think of how I can see you more clearly and so can compliment you in more ways.
Sometimes I just want to say thank you for no reason.
My attitude is not in the right place; though I feel gratitude I am not expressing it right.
I need to be specific and give you a reason.
Thank you for listening to me and letting me be more quiet.
I think about peace when my soul is quiet.
Sixty Three by Rebecca Sousie
I may not be (you know) living under grace because I don’t keep in my mind that my sins are erased. I don’t keep thinking my sins are erased. Sinking in sin and tied to that law is not were my life is based. They no longer cause me to die but cause me to do otherwise. Rather my sin that was is in His memory no more. He instead holds the door when I sin and gives a way in to be in His sweet presence. It is not I making this possible. I understand enough to see the possibility of Christ living in me. Once this head allows my heart to feel the Spirit doing it’s part of allowing me to see living as being set free.
I think I had a feeling where you could see that I liked you and that is why you hung around.
You knew I wanted to be together for a reason where I didn’t push you into uncomfortable-ness. When we got to know each other more after a stormy middle… you had to get uncomfortable.
I think you still are a little uncomfortable with my desires but then I remember the night we cried.
And you said you wanted to give me what I wanted.
To me you are like a riddle.
You never tell me everything on your mind and you are just like that.
It doesn’t mean we don’t have communication between us.
If you weren’t uncomfortable with me then I would think you would be on my side already.
That you would ask me and I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with thinking it.
You hung around because you saw my need for touch.
You then hung around me because that’s what friends do when one is in trouble.
And I was in trouble.
Then you hung around when you saw my determination to beat my illness.
That must be hard to admit, that you’d seen my endurance and good choices and real character. That I changed rapidly and you don’t like change. But you said the other day that you are too comfortable with me sometimes.
So you are still spending time with me.
How do I know what the natural flow of this dating relationship should be?
Should we be thinking about marriage?
Should I look for a hint of surprise in your voice?
Will you spring it on me?
I get so worked up.
You let me voice my opinion about marriage and what should happen with it.
There is still so much I need to know about men. And I don’t know much.
That should be your next lesson to me.
I thought I knew some things.
I really wanted to get better…
Wanted to travel…
I wanted to have a boyfriend…
I want to get married…
It’s hard to wonder if it is close, that trail that leads to kids and a home and room for us To grow…
Because I want it to be close….
And the tension of waiting to get on that trail and knowing that I could fall out of a relationship with you and have to wait to take that trail a little while later in life, I have a hard time living in.
I want to live in it and strive in it.
We rise up.
We are in a cycle it feels like.
But I want to live in the tension.
Even if I can’t do it perfectly.
I want to.